I’ve been reading up on Stoicism lately, intrigued by its deceptive simplicity. In theory, it’s something everyone should aspire to practise. In reality, the struggle is very real. Guided by the four cardinal virtues of Wisdom, Courage, Justice, and Temperance, Stoicism is definitely not for the faint-hearted.
Here’s a rundown I scribbled after reading Tom Hodgkinson’s How to Live Like a Stoic:
Wisdom → The ability to navigate complex situations logically, knowing what is within your control and what is not.
Courage → Standing up for what is right and facing fear or adversity with steadfastness.
Justice → Treating others with fairness and kindness while working towards the common good.
Temperance → Practising moderation, self-discipline, and resisting excess in our daily habits.
Now, I’m a certified INFP personality type, so emotions pretty much run the show. “Activating” these virtues can therefore be quite the challenge. Not impossible — just…tricky.
I’ve found a reliable fallback in the Serenity Prayer:
God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.
Which, when you think about it, seems to be the ultimate prayer for a struggling Stoic.
Now let’s put this into perspective.
In Singapore, most things are quick, efficient, and simply work. In the Philippines…let’s just say things often operate at a different pace.
Wisdom reminds me that these are two very different countries, so I should adjust my expectations accordingly.
Courage gets a serious workout every time my patience is tested.
Justice sometimes feels elusive.
And Temperance? Well…let’s just say I’m doing an awful lot of screaming on the inside.
Funnily enough, Filipinos have a colloquial term that’s surprisingly close to Stoicism: dedma. It basically means ignoring drama or trivial stressors — choosing to be unbothered in order to protect your peace.
It’s incredibly annoying when you’re on the receiving end of someone else’s dedma. But when you’re the one giving off dedma vibes? That’s a different story altogether.
Haha.
So yes, I can still laugh about it. Which, in fairness, the Stoics would probably approve of. They weren’t advocating a joyless existence after all — they simply believed that happiness comes from mastering ourselves rather than our circumstances.
Baby steps.
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